Nothing can be more difficult in life than watching a child create a rift between themself and one of their parents. In an ongoing custody dispute and high-conflict situation, it often feels as if a parent has been wiped out of a child’s life almost overnight. All phone calls stop happening between a child and one of their parents, visits become very tense, and children can exhibit numerous strong feelings, including anger, fear, or even a complete emotional disconnect from the parent that they once loved dearly.
The emotionally charged and complex dynamics of each one of these situations can be extremely powerful; rejection by a parent on the part of a child does not necessarily mean that there is evidence of parental alienation. In some instances, children distance themselves from their parents for valid reasons that may pertain to fear, disputes with the parent, neglect, or other unhealthy experiences. And in other circumstances, family dynamics and emotional influences have a subtle but definite impact on the way a child perceives the situation. Because of this complexity, many courts rely on the expertise of forensic psychiatrists and mental health evaluators to assist them in getting a clear understanding of the set of circumstances involved prior to making any snap judgments.
The objective is not to take sides but to understand the underlying issues driving the child’s behavior and emotional responses.
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Looking Beyond the Child’s Words
A forensic psychiatrist understands that children frequently express their feelings indirectly and non-linearly; for example, a child may say they “hate” their parent, they might also refuse to go to visits with the parent,m or they could repeat something mean the parent said. When performing an evaluation, the evaluator will need to look beyond a child’s words.
Family tensions affect children significantly, as they can absorb the emotions of anger, fear, conflict of loyalty, and emotional stressors, without having an understanding of how they will affect them. Children may sometimes exhibit the language or viewpoints of adults beyond their emotional understanding. At other times, they may appear emotionally detached, anxious, defensive,e or uncomfortable talking about one parent in front of the other.
An expert in forensic psychiatry will carefully consider how a child communicates, how they express emotion, and whether their responses are consistent. For example, does the child share specific memories when asked about the event, or are their statements more generalized/rehearsed? Is the child expressing legitimate fears about the rejected parent, or could their feelings possibly not reflect the reality around them? Is the child able to identify good memories about the rejected parent, or does the child only think about the last experiences with the rejected parent (e.g, in terms of black and white)?
Considering that children can have a mix of feelings, a complete dismissal of emotion in a child without regard to any variations can signal that there may be some larger interpersonal dynamics that require a more in-depth investigation.
Investigating Emotion Between Family
Members Much of the emphasis that forensic evaluations place on the dynamics of emotional relations, i.e., emotional environments, amongst family members. Forensic evaluators evaluate relationships between the child and each parent, how conflicts between parents are resolved, and if there is any pressure placed on emotions in the family unit.
Sometimes, one parent expresses their negative opinion of the other parent, either intentionally or unintentionally. This negativity does not have to be expressed directly; children often sense emotional tension, facial expressions, silence, guilt, disappointment, and other less obvious signs of approval and disapproval. As time passes, children often adjust their behavior to stay emotionally close to one parent and become detached from the other parent.
Evaluators look at whether the child feels safe to express love and affection to both parents. Some children fear that if they show affection to one parent, they may make the other parent mad. Other children may feel as if they are emotionally responsible for protecting their parent who seems hurt, angry, or overwhelmed.
Nevertheless, forensic psychiatrists take steps to ensure an accurate understanding of a complex scenario by not oversimplifying it into a single cause. There are many reasons why someone could reject another person or relationship, such as true relational problems, unresolved disputes, difficult upbringing, diminished or unstable emotional status, past painful experiences, etc. A complete evaluation will require an evaluation of the overall family history, interactions, and the caregiver’s history; therefore, each evaluation should be fair, impartial, and comprehensive.
Behavioral Signs Forensic Psychiatrists Monitor
Typical behaviors can offer important clues about children’s emotional status. Forensic psychiatrists will consider many factors when assessing the child’s emotional stability, including both the child’s speech and their behaviors when interacting with each parent,t both before, during, and after the interactions.
Some children may show great amounts of anxiety before a visit, whereas once they have started, they are calm. Some children will show a great amount of anger that doesn’t reflect their previous relationship with the adult. Adverse personality changes, withdrawal from people/places, anger toward someone, being loyal to only one parent, or unusual maturity regarding a conflict between adults can show that something is going on with the child.
Evaluators can examine a child’s emotional response through the lens of current developmental expectations. For example, if a child who is very young is making complex accusations similar to adults, then there could be concerns about outside influences. Conversely, if a child rejects one parent entirely and idealizes the other parent but does not display any level of emotional complexity upon rejecting one parent and idealizing the second parent, then there may be suggestions that their perceptions are being influenced by continuing disputes within the family.
Behaviors that occur outside of an actual custody setting can be equally important. Examples of such behaviors may include: experiencing sleep problems, a decrease in school performance, withdrawing from friends and family socially, having anxiety or depression, behaving out of normal emotional range, or regressions in behavior. These may all indicate the child is having an emotional problem related to the stress created by the parents’ conflict. There is no definitive behavior that demonstrates the existence of the two processes of parental alienation and emotional manipulation. When conducting a forensic evaluation, forensic psychiatrists look at trends over time, consistencies in emotionality, family dynamics,s and the overall picture the child presents psychologically.
Why Careful Evaluation Matters
When a parent-child relationship is disrupted by rejection, this creates difficult emotional sensations. Parents may want a simple solution to resolve the issues of separation, but they usually don’t exist. The emotional state of the child can be impacted by multiple areas of the child’s li,fe such as family turmoil, emotional attachment, stress, fear, communication style, and personal experiences.
Forensic psychiatric evaluation is important because it provides a structure that is thoughtful and emotionally informed, which allows for a better understanding of the child’s emotional reality without the haste of trying to come to conclusions. A thorough forensic psychiatric evaluation will allow the court to see beyond allegations and focus on the flow of the child’s psychosocial health.
The key aspect is that children must feel emotionally safe, stable, and able to grow with the freedom to have and experience good relationships without having to feel loyalty conflicts. When rejection happens, the intent should always be to develop understanding, emotional healing, and support the child’s growth, not through punishment or blaming him/her, but instead through developing and supporting an emotionally healthy child.
Regardless of the circumstances of the custody case, the involved children are always trying to gather together into some sort of understanding of the very complex emotions and relationships that surround them. Careful forensic evaluation makes sure that the child’s voice and experiences, as well as all their emotional needs, will be heard and treated with the respect and kindness that they need and deserve.
